Learning in the Desert

Deuteronomy 31:8-The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Since I've been in Haiti, I've been following the travels of the Israelites in the desert. When I started, I wasn't sure if I could relate to their lives. As I read, though, and things played out here, I quickly saw parallels. First of all, the Israelites were leaving "home" in Egypt for something unknown simply based on a call from God. No matter how bad things were, Egypt was where they'd been living for centuries. Though they'd been crying for God to save them, they cried against Him as soon as a challenge came along. After being provided miraculous food and water, the people decided it wasn't the right kind of food (Num. 11:4-6). Then, when things got personal, they went so far as deciding to go back to Egypt (Num. 14:1-4). To us, this seems like nonsense! Who would go back to slavery after all the miracles performed right in front of your face?...But wait a second, isn't this exactly what we do sometimes....When things get hard, don't we go right back to what's comfortable, no matter how destructive it was? I had to catch myself when I said I'd give anything for a Starbucks or Taco Bell. Anything?!? Really? Would I really return to life apart from God's will just so I could be comfortable? Obviously, this answer is no. Especially when those comforts are purely physical (normal food, paved roads, hot showers). But what about when the things become personal? As much as I love it here, it's been a struggle to find my place in a culture so vastly different from my own-a struggle that usually ends up offending someone. Would I really give up God's plan for my life simply for the company of those who already love and accept me? Shouldn't I really be getting my approval from God and not even my closest family or friends? Hmmm... 

This all caused me to question how much of home I should keep with me. And for that matter, how much of Haiti I should let become a part of me. My Bible's notes point out God's use of detailed rules to re-establish His identity within His people while separating them from negative behaviors within new cultures. I realized God's asking me to get rid of the selfish pride and overindulgent attitudes I'm so accustomed to having at home while also being aware of some destructive habits found here. After several failed attempts, I'm finding this balance can only be reached when I'm focused on who I'm doing this for-God.

As I wander in the desert of Port-au-Prince until God allows us to move, I ask for prayer for when that time comes. (Which, Lord willing, will be in the next week or two!) Strange that I'm starting the story of the "Promise Land" and Joshua at the same time Kat and I enter what I would consider the promised land in the mountains. Maybe God doesn't necessarily ask for a successful end product but rather an obedient journey...