Coming Home

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven"

No, the title’s not a metaphor; I will actually be coming home in a couple of weeks. After spending time discussing with a number of FH staff, we’ve decided this is not the time for FH to be taking on long-term volunteers in Haiti. This decision was obviously not made lightly, and it took a lot of prayer and searching to finally recognize leaving as the right choice. Although I’m disappointed about not being with the people of Kafou Tenten, to enter a new community and culture without God’s approval would not be wise (Numbers 14).

Psalm 84:10-“Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere…”

I always knew in my heart that the year long time-frame I placed on this journey was not what would actually happen. While I kind of thought it would go longer, I fully believe this is the right time for me to leave. I would rather have spent the short time I had here and know I was in God’s will than to have spent any time apart from what God has planned for me. Without a doubt I was supposed to be here and even if it looks messy on the outside, I know this was all according to God’s plan. I never felt misled along the way or in the wrong by being here. And I do not feel wrong by leaving. In fact, I would feel more wrong trying to force staying just because it’s what other people thought I should do.

I’ve already learned so much about myself, my culture, relief/development work, and my relationship with God. When I came, I knew that if nothing else, I wanted to learn more about my calling and the direction I needed to take. And, honestly, I’ve learned more than I could have even asked to learn. I know that what I’ve given the children here through friendships and helping FH with data entry means a lot to a lot of people. I also know that being able to stand by Kat as this transition came about was a major part of why God sent me here. It has been such a blessing to grow with her, and I’m so grateful to have spent time with her family and friends.

A year ago, I never would’ve imagined myself in a place like Haiti. Praise God for being so amazing! My perspectives have changed a lot just in the short time I’ve had “outside the box” so it’s sure to be exciting. Please continue to pray for Haiti and its people; they are a strong people that truly want to see their country thrive. Also, please pray for Kat as she takes this major step and begins working side-by-side with her husband and Willet Missions. Finally, please pray for my family and me as we discover what God has next for all of us. I’m excited to see what my ministry will become once I return to the states!

Tiny gods

Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

I'm starting to realize that the Promise Land for me seems to be less a physical location and more of a spiritual place. When the Israelites moved into the promised land, they were told to completely destroy the gods and idols that were flourishing at that time. They were given very clear instructions on what would happen if they left even just a little bit of idol worship in the land. In Joshua 23 and 24, Joshua tells the people that God has delivered on every good promise he made to bring them out of Egypt, across the desert, and conquer an entire land. But he also reminds them that God will remember the punishments He promised too. It's here that Joshua gives the Israelites a choice-worship the idols of their ancestors and these new people or worship the one, true God who gave them their lives and their livelihood. As most people know, the Israelites failed and in Judges, we see one downfall after another. But one person who did do right was Joshua. 

Now I can see that I can choose to worship idols, whether they be past or present, or I can choose to completely destroy them. Not keeping even the tiniest shred of their being. It's my job to deal with the gods I struggle with before I can completely enjoy my promised land-full reliance and peace with God. God even promises that if I chose to worship Him, He'll help me get rid of all the junk in such a way that will give Him glory. It's a win-win! Destroy idols-glorify God! Sweet :)

Joshua chose to worship God, and God granted him a fulfilled life of peace. Was Joshua's life perfect? Not by any means. But overall, he was a great man of God who fulfilled God's will for his life and his people. What a dream!

Learning in the Desert

Deuteronomy 31:8-The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Since I've been in Haiti, I've been following the travels of the Israelites in the desert. When I started, I wasn't sure if I could relate to their lives. As I read, though, and things played out here, I quickly saw parallels. First of all, the Israelites were leaving "home" in Egypt for something unknown simply based on a call from God. No matter how bad things were, Egypt was where they'd been living for centuries. Though they'd been crying for God to save them, they cried against Him as soon as a challenge came along. After being provided miraculous food and water, the people decided it wasn't the right kind of food (Num. 11:4-6). Then, when things got personal, they went so far as deciding to go back to Egypt (Num. 14:1-4). To us, this seems like nonsense! Who would go back to slavery after all the miracles performed right in front of your face?...But wait a second, isn't this exactly what we do sometimes....When things get hard, don't we go right back to what's comfortable, no matter how destructive it was? I had to catch myself when I said I'd give anything for a Starbucks or Taco Bell. Anything?!? Really? Would I really return to life apart from God's will just so I could be comfortable? Obviously, this answer is no. Especially when those comforts are purely physical (normal food, paved roads, hot showers). But what about when the things become personal? As much as I love it here, it's been a struggle to find my place in a culture so vastly different from my own-a struggle that usually ends up offending someone. Would I really give up God's plan for my life simply for the company of those who already love and accept me? Shouldn't I really be getting my approval from God and not even my closest family or friends? Hmmm... 

This all caused me to question how much of home I should keep with me. And for that matter, how much of Haiti I should let become a part of me. My Bible's notes point out God's use of detailed rules to re-establish His identity within His people while separating them from negative behaviors within new cultures. I realized God's asking me to get rid of the selfish pride and overindulgent attitudes I'm so accustomed to having at home while also being aware of some destructive habits found here. After several failed attempts, I'm finding this balance can only be reached when I'm focused on who I'm doing this for-God.

As I wander in the desert of Port-au-Prince until God allows us to move, I ask for prayer for when that time comes. (Which, Lord willing, will be in the next week or two!) Strange that I'm starting the story of the "Promise Land" and Joshua at the same time Kat and I enter what I would consider the promised land in the mountains. Maybe God doesn't necessarily ask for a successful end product but rather an obedient journey...

"Nou nan Ayiti"

*Part two of my blog mini-series ;)

"We're in Haiti"...A life quote I've come to know very well. Oh, our driver was supposed to be here an hour ago...meh, we're in Haiti. What, he cooked the entire goat in the soup...ah, we're in Haiti. This quote is equivalent to the old-school phrase "Psych!" which is also a frequent. As laid back as I thought I was with time, I've discovered a whole new level of nonchalance. I've also discovered how this directly ties into the value you place on the deadline and the amount of respect you show to those relying on your punctuality. Does any of this mean I'll actually start to be on time once I come home? Haha, psych!

I've also learned I'm both stronger and weaker than I thought I was. While in Aux Cadets, God created a unique learning experience. Because of the rain, we had some free time to play with the children. The kids and I were down by the soccer field one afternoon when they told me there was a boy sitting by himself in the nearby corn field. There was a group of probably 25 kids around me when I went over to see what was the matter. As I got to the boy, I could see he had a very blank, distant stare that didn't even flinch as my mob approached. I knelt down beside him and noticed both of his eyes were dark and swollen. After some broken Creole and a translator, I found out he had been beaten by his mom. Stronger part-by the grace of God I was actually able to think semi-clearly, got his name (Gison) and took him up to the clinic where Kat, Jeremy, Christine, Neal, and our translator, Cardinye, helped figure out what the best next step was. Long story short, come to find out from the mother, the boy had also been behaving very irresponsibly so they talked to the mother about different ways of approaching discipline. They also discussed with Gison about better ways to spend his time. (Side note-One of the great things about us moving to the mountain is we can represent FH as we follow up on this family.)

Later that night during devotion time, we had some really deep worship to give everyone a chance to process what happened earlier. I had not realized how much I rely on my family until they weren't available at the push of a button. I remember fighting to keep it all together and praying to God that I just wanted to call my family. Then, Nicki sat down next to me and put her arm around my shoulder. Weaker part-I broke down. God blew me away by showing me that, as Christians, we are all family. Both the believers on the team and the believers in the community are already part of my family. I thought I would be stronger for the team by keeping my emotions in check; in reality, I think it was the broken humility that meant more than my so-called "strength".

God's already taught me so much about myself and life in general with just the three weeks that have passed. I've had to check my attitude a couple of times :) but I'm all the more grateful for the opportunities to rely on God's strength instead of my own.

Photo by Justin Willet

This is Gison a couple of days after our first meeting. He came to participate in our medical clinic and distribution, and he looked great!

Faith without Works

*This is Part 1 of two blogs explaining what's been going on here over the last two weeks.

Seeing as I got here on Thursday and the team came in the next Tuesday, my first few days were busy with preparations. (The Willet Missions team included Jeremy, Justin, Jordan, their parents Glen and Barbara Willet, Justin's fiance Nicki, Kat's mom Christine, Operation Net founder Kali, her roommate Lauren, and Willet family friends Neal and David.)The team, Kat, me, and our three translators spent Tuesday through Sunday in a community called Kafou Tenten in the region of Aux Cadets. This is also the area where Kat and I will be moving to soon. 

The buildings on the right are the school/church and the clinic we stayed in. The wide open space on the left is a soccer field and nearby is FH's Child Friendly Site. This is where we will be living.

Our first full day there we split into groups and did get-to-know-the-community activities. Each group had a member of the community help them map the area, visit a water source, and complete a wealth ranking (an activity which measures the community's perception of rich vs. poor and what they value). Although my team did not get to visit the water source right away because of the rain, it did give us a great chance to learn from the kids how to catch rainwater.

 Kali and Jordan after carrying buckets full of rain water back and forth from the church to the clinic. Way to go!

The next three days we visited surrounding communities in the mornings to do VBS, a medical clinic, and malaria training via Operation Net. I got to help with the clinic where Christine (who's a nurse) did malnutrition readings and I gave children Vitamin A and deworming medicine (used to remove intestinal worms that are stealing nutrition from a child's system). 

Photo by Justin Willet

 Christine is measuring his arm for malnutrition and I'm squeezing in the Vitamin A.

We also did distribution of items like mats, blankets, and clothes that had been donated from churches. In the afternoons we stayed in Kafou Tenten because of the rain so we had a lot of time just to play with the kids. Kat and I taught them Duck, Duck, Goose, and Fox and the Chicken which they loved.

 Kat and I playing Ring-around-the-Rosy.

On Monday, we drove up to Belledere (the same area I visited in June) to do sponsor child visits. This was an amazing opportunity for me because I was able to see Louvensky again after having our visit cut short in June. I really loved getting to sit down and hang out with him. He's a little shy but definitely a smart boy with a lot of potential! 

 Louvensky and I with our translator, Odines.

Our last day was spent traveling to downtown to see the Presidential Palace and do some shopping. It still strikes me the overwhelming damage that occurred to the buildings down there. Although, this time I saw several people beginning to rebuild which was very encouraging. 

 Presidential Palace, equal to our White House

I really loved having the team around as I transitioned into my life here in Haiti. They served as a great second family and I was so blessed to share that time with them!!

Praise God!

I wanted to give God credit for being absolutely AWESOME today!!! He got me through some pretty sticky obstacles today that I wanted to praise Him for. 

First scenario: after I had already checked into my flight to Port-au-Prince, I went to the ticket counter with my boarding pass to check my bag. The flustered, obviously over-worked man at the ticket counter asked me if I had a returning flight. Because things hardly ever go as planned in foreign countries and seeing as I'm not coming home for 4 months, I told him that no I hadn't booked it yet. So he told me as an American with an American passport, he could not let me go without a returning flight. What?!?! Why would the government, airline, and everyone else let me get all the way checked in with my boarding pass and tell me the day I fly out I need a return flight >:/ I thought, dude you are off your rocker!!! So of course I call my super-knowledgeable friends, Kat and Jeremy Willet who are just as flabbergasted as I am. As I'm waiting to get back to the counter so Jeremy can give this guy a piece of his mind (lol because anyone that knows me knows I wasn't about to do it), I see an open spot with a new counter guy...hmmm...so I try the new guy. And what do ya know, he stamps my ticket, stickers my bag, and sends me on my way!! :) Awesome!!

Next scenario: I make it all the way to the Haitian airport with my backpack and my carry-on duffel. As I go to leave the plane, I reach up to grab my duffel, and what do I find? AN EMPTY OVERHEAD BIN?!?! How do you lose a carry-on? Well, apparently someone else grabbed my bag thinking it was theirs because just opposite of my empty overhead bin was another black duffel that looked sadly like mine...and since carry-on bags are supposed to be the ones that don't get lost, I of course packed all my clothes, medicine, etc. in that duffel. Hmm...panic or not to panic :) so I choose not to panic and I just start praying. They tell me to go through customs (which of course takes excruciatingly long) and get to baggage claim to look for it. All along the way, I'm searching people's hands like a DEA agent for my black, look-like-everyone-else's bag. Finally, I make it to the baggage area that's swarming with people when suddenly! MY BAG! On someone else's cart...after some sad, but convincing arguing with a guy who didn't really speak English, I retrieved my lovely duffel. 

Finally, after paying a guy $20 to use his phone, lol, I made it to Kat and our driver. And now I am sitting comfortably in front of the fan ready to hit the ground running :)

Almost there

I leave tomorrow for my dad's in Panama City. It's all a little bittersweet as I prepare to leave my family here in Texas. I recently found out both my sister and one of my close friends are pregnant. My brother's starting junior high. Lots of new beginnings...this has definitely been a step of faith as I work to gather my things and raise money. I'm so thankful for all the prayers and support I've already been given. I can't imagine trying to do something this big without my friends and family. A week from today I will wake up in a totally new world! While I'm naturally a little nervous, I am more excited to see what big things God has planned for this next year and beyond. I'm so thankful for the friendships and partnerships I've made so far, and I can't wait for the new ones to come!!